The Choices We Make
by obsessedwithstabler
Summary: I don't want Kathy to ever regret me."


Just a little something to get me out of my slump. This is sort of a post thing for Elliot's comment, "I don't want her to ever regret me." I guess you could say it's a post ep for that episode. Enjoy, and please remember to review!

Disclaimer: Not mine!

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Elliot stared down at the piece of paper in front of him.

This was something he had never considered that he would do, or that he would be asked to do. To him, this paper that sat in front of him taunted him, mocked everything that he had worked so hard to build in his life.

His fingers curled into a fist. His whole life, he had always fought to do the right thing. He had married young, loved his children, and been a good Catholic. So why was he being forced to do this?

Oddly enough, he felt his thoughts suddenly turn toward Olivia Benson, his partner and his best friend. Whenever he felt his life spinning out of his control, just the thought of her warm smile seemed to steady him just a little. His fingers relaxed, and he rested his head in his hand.

If he signed these papers, he felt like he would be letting his family down. Everything he had spent his life building, everything that he had sacrificed for, would be gone. His vision blurred. He loved his children more than life itself, and if he signed the papers, it felt like he would be giving them up. Even though he knew that he would never really lose them, it still hurt. He lifted the papers, feeling the weight of them in his calloused hand. Just a few ounces of paper that could potentially devastate him, or give him the chance to have everything he had wanted since she had walked into the precinct over ten years ago.

Slowly he set the papers down again, and for the thousandth time, began flipping through them. Most of the stuff he understood, and a lot of it broke his heart. She was asking him to end their marriage, to end a life that they had spent over twenty years making together. He was no saint, but he loved his family. Shouldn't that count for something? He turned another page.

Then there was Olivia. She was the one bright light in his dark little corner, and every time he looked at her, he felt his spirits lift. No matter how bad his day got, one talk with her always helped. He turned his head and looked at the picture of her that hung on his wall. That was always something Kathy hated. All over his walls were pictures of her and their children, but every time she saw a picture of Olivia, he could practically feel the seething anger that she projected. But he couldn't bring himself to take any of them down. Her smile lit up the room, even if it only was a picture.

He loved Kathy, but sometimes he wondered if it wasn't just because she gave him four beautiful children that he would give his last breath for. When he was around Olivia, it was something unexplainable. He didn't believe in love at first sight, but he did believe in falling in love with someone over time. He looked down at the pen clutched tightly in his fist.

If he signed those papers, he would no longer have a wife. But if he didn't, then what? Kathy was determined to move on with her life, and she was going to do it with or without him. And if he refused to sign them, it would only serve to widen and deepen the chasm between them. She could be incredibly vindictive when she felt that she was right, and the last thing he wanted was for her to regret him. Or to make her feel that she was backed into a corner with no other choice but to take his children out of his life. And that was something he simply couldn't handle.

His phone buzzed beside his hand, letting him know that he had a text message. Picking it up, he flipped it open and smiled. How could she do that every time, without even being in the same room as him? He didn't know, but he was done fighting, on both sides.

With a heavy sigh, he scrawled his name on the final page, then stood up. Folding the papers, he opened his phone again as he grabbed his keys and headed for the front door.

"Liv? Hey, it's me." He smiled, locking the door behind himself. "Sure, I can meet you. Actually, I have something I really need to talk to you about." He headed toward the elevator. "I just have to take care of something first."

The doors opened, and he stepped into the elevator with a grin. "Good. I'll meet you then."

And he couldn't wait.

The End

A/N: Yay EO. Tee hee. Thanks for reading, and remember: Only three more weeks to go! Please review!


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